The Death of a Passion

"My life's become as vapid as a night out in Los Angeles, and I just want to stay in bed."

Why Am I The One - Fun.

They say death is the worst pain felt in this life. It's ironic because once you're dead, you're not living. I don't think that's what they were alluding to, however. I believe they were talking about the death of a passion. Before you know it, it's just gone. Flown away. And you are standing there thinking, 'What just happened?' and you have to live with it. You have to deal with it. And that, my friends, might be the worst pain I have ever felt.

I have been trying to resurrect it. Make amends and start again. But the death keeps replaying in my mind, everything reminds me about it. Words comfort, but don't heal, and I feel broken. My legs have learned to control my body, not my head. My head is jumping, trying to fix everything while avoiding it, and the numbness that results is the most infuriating thing of my life. I have always cured numbness with passion. But my passion is gone, and I think it left for good.

Counterfeit passion keeps coming to me. And I know I should shove it away, but I keep buying, and grabbing, and not letting go, because sometimes it's easier to hold on to a lie than accept the truth.